Monsoon Clouds - 11. Rajesh
Chapter 11: Rajesh
11.1 Life After the Storm
It was Sunday, 6:00 p.m. As usual, Dad was solving the crossword puzzle from the Eenadu Sunday edition, while Mom and I sat watching TV. Since the Rahul incident, our entire life structure had changed. It felt like a tsunami that had wiped away our happiness, health, peace, and joy. We were no different from living dead bodies.
The deepest impact was on me. I was emotionally and physically connected to Rahul in ways I could no longer explain to anyone. Mom expressed her pain through a paralysis stroke. Thankfully, it wasn’t severe, and she recovered quickly. Everyone said it was because of my care, but caring for her was my duty—and my responsibility—because, in some way, I felt I was the reason behind her suffering. Dad had his own share of pain too. Being a man, he couldn’t openly express it, but inside him, it burned like a volcano. Still, he never stopped searching for matches for me. Ironically, Rahul’s presence followed us even there—whenever families enquired about me and learned about Rahul, most backed out without taking things further. I told Dad many times that I was happy remaining unmarried because I couldn’t imagine anyone else in Rahul’s place, but it was hard to convince him. Mom supported him too. Not wanting to hurt them further, I chose silence.
Ravi completed his engineering with distinction and secured admission for MS at the University of California. Through sheer hard work and dedication, he fulfilled his dream. We were very proud of him. He managed everything on his own and never asked Dad for financial support. Dad, too, wasn’t in a position to help, as he wanted to save for my marriage, which mattered most to him. Ravi stayed with us for a month before leaving for the US, though he was mostly busy with preparations. Even Satish got admission to CMU in the US and planned to go along with Ravi. Rama Rao Uncle was overjoyed that both his son and daughter were in the US. He even joked that after retirement, he could spend six months at each of their places. He also mentioned that Manoj had gone to the US on a family visa, with Rahul’s help. Now Sandhya, Rahul, Ravi, Satish, and Manoj—all had moved to the US.
We shifted to a new house because the memories of Rahul were killing us every single day. Rama Rao Uncle did his best to convince us otherwise, but we couldn’t listen. Even he felt a change of place might help us recover from the disaster. Externally, I tried my best to distance myself from everything that reminded me of Rahul, but internally, I couldn’t erase him. He lived in every thought I had and every action I took. We lost track of years, stopped looking at dates and time altogether.
* * *
11.2 An Unexpected Visit and Fading Smiles
A knock on the door pulled me back to reality. Dad looked at me, silently asking me to open it. When I did, I was overjoyed to see Satyanarayana Uncle—Satya Uncle, as we called him. He had worked with Dad and Rama Rao Uncle in town. When Dad and Rama Rao Uncle were transferred to Hyderabad, Satya Uncle chose to stay back, even rejecting a promotion. He was a simple, innocent, and straightforward man, which often got him into trouble at work. Dad had once helped him resolve a serious issue when he nearly lost his job after a fight with a senior officer. Satya Uncle never forgot that and always spoke of it with great respect.
He was close to Rama Rao Uncle too, though Rama Rao’s constant jokes and teasing made him keep some distance. Dad, on the other hand, always listened patiently and helped whenever needed, earning Satya Uncle’s deep respect. He owned some land in nearby villages and preferred staying in town to manage both his job and the fields. He believed city life wasn’t for him—he still trusted people too easily.
Satya Uncle’s wife had passed away long ago. His elder son, Rajesh, was a timid and quiet boy from childhood, while his daughter Vani—slightly younger than me—was lively and energetic. During our childhood, Sandhya, Vani, and I played together a lot. Rajesh, though the eldest among us, was neither smart nor confident. He scored poorly in school and avoided everyone, often sitting alone by the lakeside. Even when we played together as a group, he rarely joined. If forced, he would either get out early or end up fighting and leaving. His short height, dark complexion, and poor academics only deepened his inferiority.
Vani visited our home frequently—eating, sleeping, and spending time with us. Mom took great care of her. Rajesh, however, never entered our house. Even if sent with a message, he would speak from outside and leave. Vani later married her maternal uncle, a common practice in many South Indian villages to preserve culture and property within the family. As her mother had died early, her maternal grandparents wanted her close. She married young, around eighteen, and was blessed with a son and a daughter. She lived in the same street as Satya Uncle. Rajesh worked in Chennai as a supervisor in a manufacturing company. Satya Uncle lived with his aged mother, while Vani took good care of them both.
Seeing Satya Uncle after a long time filled me with excitement. Apart from Rama Rao Uncle and Aunty, we hardly had visitors these days. The brightness on my face and the way I called out to him filled Dad and Mom with sudden energy. They rushed to the door, and all four of us stood there smiling, hearts filled with warmth. We invited him inside, and the hall soon echoed with laughter as questions flew around like rapid-fire bullets. Satya Uncle finally asked us to stop so he could at least understand what was being asked. It surprised even the walls to see us laugh again.
He told us he had come to Hyderabad for a relative’s function and had a train to catch that night. Though he had visited Hyderabad before, he could never find our address—numbers and door plates confused him. This time, with detailed directions from Rama Rao Uncle, he still took an hour to reach us.
After some time, Mom and I moved to the kitchen to prepare dinner, leaving Dad and Uncle in the hall with hot tea and snacks. I knew Rahul would come up in their conversation—that was another reason we stepped away. When dinner was ready, we called them back. Mom packed snacks and a saree for Vani. His departure was hard, but unavoidable. His visit felt like an energy injection—enough to keep us going for the next few months.
For days afterward, our conversations revolved around the town, our past, and how happy life once was. Sometimes, I felt that if we had never moved to the city, I might never have met Rahul, and none of this would have happened. But nothing was in our hands. Everything, it seemed, had to happen according to His will.
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11.3 A Proposal That Stirred Hope and Uncertainty
The following Sunday, Rama Rao Uncle and Aunty visited us. Their presence always brought warmth into our home, reminding us that we were still alive beneath the layers of pain. We spoke about Satya Uncle’s recent visit, and Rama Rao Uncle, as usual, flooded the room with his nonstop jokes about him. It took us a while to regain composure, but for the first time in a long while, I felt a faint hope that good days might return—days I had once believed were lost forever.
As we women prepared to move into the kitchen, leaving the men to their usual discussions, Rama Rao Uncle asked us to stay back. He hesitated at first, recalling a past unpleasant experience, yet determined to set things right this time. He began by sharing a phone call he had received from Satya Uncle after his visit. Satya Uncle was deeply troubled—Rajesh’s marriage proposals weren’t working out, and the sadness in our home weighed heavily on him as well. Feeling indebted to Dad for standing by him through many difficult times, Satya Uncle wanted to do something meaningful in return. In short, he had asked Rama Rao Uncle to speak to us about a possible alliance between me and Rajesh.
Rama Rao Uncle was clear and honest. He knew Rajesh wasn’t an ideal match for me in many ways, yet he couldn’t bear to see Dad and Mom suffer like this. He had accepted the Rahul chapter without judgment and was even ready to explain everything to Rajesh. All he sought was our consent—fully prepared to accept a no, assuring us that our relationship would remain unchanged. A yes, however, would strengthen the bond and give him peace of mind. Lacking the courage to raise this directly with Dad, Satya Uncle had entrusted the message to Rama Rao Uncle.
Silence filled the room. None of us had ever imagined such a proposal. I looked at Dad—his face calm and thoughtful. Mom, on the other hand, was visibly excited. The very mention of marriage brought a sparkle to her eyes; perhaps that is the nature of mothers. Rama Rao Uncle gently broke the silence, asking us to think it over, adding that it wasn’t a bad idea—knowing Satya Uncle and Rajesh since childhood was, in itself, a rare comfort.
Mom was the first to cast her vote. She believed Rajesh was the right person for me. In her view, marriage, children, and having a family of my own would help me move on and rediscover life. Like most mothers, she felt that a settled life could heal all wounds. She began listing the merits of the match and her reasons with conviction.
Dad remained undecided. Rajesh had never been a bright student, nor was he socially open or confident, and even in appearance, Dad felt he fell short. Yet there were positives—Rajesh stayed away from bad habits, minded his own business, and, most importantly, we had known him since childhood. Satya Uncle and Vani were warm and caring, promising a peaceful life in my in-laws’ home. Still, Dad struggled to reach a conclusion, discussing the matter repeatedly with Rama Rao Uncle.
As for me, I chose to rest my mind. I had exhausted my thoughts and emotions in the Rahul chapter, which ended in devastation. I decided to trust my parents completely. No one else in my life could wish better for me than they did. I wanted only their happiness; I felt I had already caused them enough pain for a lifetime.
Since Dad was still unsure, Rama Rao Uncle suggested a casual meeting with Rajesh before making a final decision. Everyone agreed. Dad and Rama Rao Uncle traveled to Chennai after informing Satya Uncle and Rajesh, both of whom welcomed the visit. Mom and I waited anxiously for Dad’s return.
They came back the very next day, and the calm smile on Dad’s face said everything. After freshening up, Dad shared the details. Rajesh had received them at the station, treated them warmly as family friends, and never once hinted at the purpose of their visit. He managed conversations with ease, showed them his room—simple but neat—took them out for breakfast, introduced them at his office with pride, and even applied for leave to spend the day with them. His manager spoke well of him. From sightseeing to dropping them back at the station with dinner packets, Rajesh’s gestures reflected respect and sincerity. Dad concluded that, irrespective of the alliance, Rajesh seemed to be a good human being.
Rama Rao Uncle had already given his approval. With that, Dad finally said yes. He did ask me if I was comfortable, and I replied that I trusted their decision entirely, without revisiting the past.
To make things formal, Dad invited Satya Uncle, Vani’s family, and Rajesh to our home so that Rajesh and I could meet after a long time and discuss matters openly. Satya Uncle called to confirm their visit for the coming Sunday. Rajesh would arrive from Chennai, while Satya Uncle, Vani, and her younger daughter would come from town, first stopping at Rama Rao Uncle’s house. We also invited Sharma Garu and his wife, our former homeowners, to be part of the occasion.
* * *
11.4 A House Filled with Hope and Hesitation
After a very long time, I saw Mom truly happy again—happy in a way that reminded me of my own mother, whom we lost a few years ago. She was restless with excitement, moving in and out of the rooms, asking me to wear the best saree from my wardrobe, offering me all her jewelry, arranging flowers, and preparing a variety of dishes. Dad and I watched her with quiet smiles, our hearts filled with relief and joy, grateful to see this version of her return.
I couldn’t remember the last time I had dressed up like this. I wore a blue and green multi-shade saree, paired with a white stone necklace, a long chain, and jasmine flowers in my hair. Seeing me like this after so long, Mom was overwhelmed. Her eyes filled with tears—but they were tears of happiness.
Revathi aunty and Vani arrived first to help Mom, while the men joined later. It was a delight to see Vani after such a long time. Her greatest specialty is her endless chatter—there is never a moment of silence when she is around. I felt genuinely happy talking to her. Most of the time, she kept speaking nonstop, occasionally making small changes to my appearance, all to impress her brother, as she knew his tastes well. Revathi aunty helped Mom in the kitchen, even though most of the work was already done.
Although I had known Rajesh before and we had played together as children, meeting him now in this setting made me nervous. Thoughts about what lay ahead made my body tremble slightly. Rama Rao uncle, Satya uncle, and Rajesh arrived later. Once everyone gathered, the house truly felt like a marriage home—filled with loud conversations, smiles, jokes, and constant movement. The aroma of delicious dishes from the kitchen only added to the festive atmosphere.
After the initial conversations and laughter, they called me into the hall. Rajesh is generally a man of few words, and people often joke that Vani speaks on his behalf as well. I was still anxious as Vani took me to the hall. Being the youngest and closest to me, she guided me in, but then went and sat beside her father, placing herself firmly on the opposite side. Mom and Revathi aunty stood quietly behind the kitchen curtain, observing.
Rajesh sat opposite me. I kept my head lowered until Vani asked me to look at her brother and share my opinion. Slowly, I raised my eyes. He sat casually, legs crossed, wearing navy blue formal pants and a cream-colored shirt. He had a slight belly—perhaps from eating outside often. He had always been dark-skinned since childhood, and the Chennai climate seemed to have darkened his face further. His nose was slightly flattened with wider nostrils, his moustache neatly trimmed, and his eyes ordinary. His partially bald head might have been due to the water or the climate. He was around 5’5” tall, which made his belly more noticeable.
It would be difficult for people to believe that we could be husband and wife if seen together outside, given how different we looked. But Mom always said that inner beauty matters more than outward appearance—not how good a man looks, but how well he takes care of his wife. My first impression of him wasn’t pleasant, but I told myself that knowing him better and spending time with him might change that. After a brief glance, I looked away again.
Vani noticed my silence immediately. She came closer and began asking for my feedback in a so-called secret voice, though everyone could hear. I chose to remain quiet, holding my thoughts within me.
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11.5 Silence, Consent, and Unspoken Truths
When everyone asked for Rajesh’s opinion, he simply replied that he would go by whatever his father decided. It was the first time I heard his voice after so many years—slightly husky, yet firm. Dad carefully explained everything about me and Rahul to Satya uncle, leaving out only the most personal detail that still remained unspoken. He requested Satya uncle to convey everything clearly to Rajesh, so there would be no misunderstandings in the future. Dad couldn’t speak directly to Rajesh about such a sensitive matter, yet he didn’t want to hide anything either.
Dad openly asked Satya uncle whether Rajesh had been told everything. Without going into details, Satya uncle confirmed that Rajesh knew all of it and had no objections. Since everyone present was already aware of the situation, no one asked further questions. Even Vani knew, as Satya uncle had already informed her. I was silently waiting for the moment to return to my room, my discomfort evident. Noticing this, Rama Rao uncle asked Rajesh if he wished to speak to me privately. Rajesh replied calmly that he had nothing to say. They then asked Vani to take me back to my room.
As Vani and I walked back, Revathi aunty began serving snacks to the guests. Vani was still eager to hear my opinion about her brother. I told her I would go by my parents’ decision. Though she tried to push further, my answer remained the same, and she finally gave up.
Once Vani left, Mom and Dad came into my room. The boy’s side had given their consent, and now they wanted to know my opinion. I sat on the edge of the bed while Dad sat beside me, placing his hand gently on my head. He asked if I was okay with Rajesh. My heart screamed no, but my lips refused to move. My eyes struggled to hide the tears that threatened to spill. Dad sensed my hesitation and questioned me again, but I was still unable to respond.
Rajesh felt like a small candle in the middle of darkness. If I ignored this chance, I might spend the rest of my life in that darkness. I could accept that, but my parents couldn’t. I had already given them enough pain in life; this time, I wanted to bring back their happiness. Still, I couldn’t understand why I kept comparing Rajesh with Rahul—and in every comparison, Rahul seemed to win, making my decision even more difficult.
Dad changed his approach, trying to draw an answer from me, but Mom intervened, sensing that things might go too far. She reassured him that everything would be fine and asked him not to push me further. Without any conclusion, they left the room. I didn’t even get the freedom to cry openly, so I went into the washroom, allowing my tears to flow in silence.
* * *
11.6 An Engagement Decided by Fate
I could hear conversations in the hall, most of them revolving around marriage. Finally, Vani came running into my room and announced that my engagement would happen that very day. I don’t know why, but the word engagement sounded like the most terrifying word in the world. I stood frozen, unable to believe what I had just heard. My heart kept warning me—Rekha, this is the time. Speak up and say no, or you will suffer all your life.
Seeing me stand still, Vani came closer and shook me gently, asking if I was too excited to react. In truth, I was struggling to accept it. Since both sides had already agreed, they didn’t want to delay. Sharma garu checked the horoscope and declared the next two hours as an auspicious time for the engagement. As everyone was present and prepared, they decided to proceed without postponement.
Vani informed me that they were going out to purchase the engagement items from the boy’s side. Dad asked Rama Rao uncle to accompany them to arrange the girl’s side items as well. With the list provided by Sharma garu, they all went out together. Meanwhile, Mom, with Savitri garu’s help, started working in the kitchen, and Dad began making arrangements as guided by Sharma garu.
Everything felt unreal, like a dream—yet not one I could wake up from. It was happening right before my eyes. I was getting engaged to Rajesh, destined to be his wife for the rest of my life. Was I losing Rahul forever? Hadn’t I already lost him? Then why was he still on my mind? I reminded myself that Rahul was gone, and now I had to think about my parents and my own future. Their happiness had to be my priority.
After countless thoughts, I realized there was no point in resisting further. Perhaps this was God’s will. I decided to accept whatever He had planned for me. Slowly, I began to feel calmer and accepted the truth—Rajesh would be my husband, my companion in life.
Time moved quickly, as if everything had been pre-planned. They bought a bright pink silk saree, an engagement ring, and all the necessary items. The joy on my parents’ faces was immeasurable. Everyone was genuinely happy. I did my best to hide my inner turmoil and pretended to share their happiness. Rajesh’s expressions remained unreadable, though he was never very expressive. With a note to fix the wedding date soon, everyone departed, leaving my parents filled with contentment. For them, nothing could be greater than seeing their daughter’s marriage settled as per their wishes.
Sometimes, I still had disturbing dreams—Rahul returning to take me away—but the consequences of such thoughts made me wake up in fear and sweat. Even after the engagement, Rajesh never called or spoke to me. He didn’t have a phone in his room, but he could have called from the office or elsewhere. Yet, no call ever came.
Dad consulted several priests to finalize the wedding date. The first match itself was considered suitable, and Dad didn’t overanalyze it, as everything had happened so suddenly. The priests mentioned there might be minor disturbances in married life, but with understanding and adjustment, they could be resolved. They also suggested certain japams and poojas to be performed before the wedding for a peaceful married life. Dad made sure I followed every instruction carefully, hoping it would secure a happier future for me.
* * *
11.7 A Wedding Set in Motion, Amid Joy and Unspoken Fears
The marriage date was finalized, and it was decided to conduct the wedding in our hometown. It would be easier for our relatives—and for his side as well—to attend, since we hardly knew many people in Hyderabad. Everyone agreed with the plan, especially my mother’s relatives, who were thrilled and promised to attend in large numbers. Rama Rao uncle’s village was also nearby, making it even more convenient. Ravi and Sandhya were informed in advance so they could book their tickets.
Sandhya was extremely excited about the wedding. She called me frequently, discussing arrangements and asking what I needed from the US, especially since it would also be my first visit with Ayush. Ravi called a few times too, checking on dates and any requirements from abroad. Satish couldn’t come due to his semester exams, which made him very upset, but he planned to visit as soon as they were over. He called me regularly, like a caring brother, asking about my wish list so he could send things through Ravi or Sandhya. I received calls from everyone—but never from Rajesh, the one call I had been waiting for the most.
Mom and Dad were completely occupied with wedding preparations, leaving me very little time to talk to them. Dad applied for his pending leaves—something he rarely did, as he usually went to work unless he was physically unwell. They were both on cloud nine.
The very thought of marriage sent shivers down my spine. I constantly worried about my life with Rajesh—how I would adjust to him, understand him, and live with him. Above all, my biggest fear was the first night. Would Rajesh somehow know about my past physical relationship with Rahul? No one else knew about it. Should I tell him on the first night? How would he react? Would it affect my married life forever? These thoughts drove me close to madness. My confusion reflected clearly on my face and in my behavior. Mom often noticed and questioned me, then went on to advise me about being a good housewife and reminded me that a woman’s purpose in life was to serve her husband.
Sandhya’s arrival felt like a shower in the middle of a scorching summer. She had put on some weight after delivery, perhaps due to the US climate, and looked fairer and more fashionable. Vamshi couldn’t come because of project work. Sandhya planned to stay for a month, treating it as a long-pending vacation. She stayed with us for a few days, and Mom and Dad grew deeply attached to Ayush, dreaming aloud about having their own grandson and cherishing every moment they spent playing with him.
Ayush had a magical presence. Like most children, he was a natural stress buster. Spending time with him over those days slowly eased my tension, making me feel calmer and lighter. With Sandhya’s arrival, followed by Ravi’s, the house truly began to feel like a wedding home. Ravi, for the first time, started behaving like a responsible brother—perhaps his success had given him newfound confidence.
Sandhya was the only person I felt safe sharing my deepest fears with. One night, I finally gathered the courage to tell her about my intimate relationship with Rahul and explained everything that had happened. I still couldn’t bring myself to speak about Manoj—it remained a secret known only to him and me. Sandhya was completely shocked; she had never imagined this side of me. At first, she thought I was joking, but when she saw my expression, she slowly accepted the truth.
I shared my fears about the first night and whether Rajesh would come to know about my past. She thought for a while and then offered some advice—tips that might sound funny, yet carried real value. I can’t share them here for personal reasons, but they felt like a lifeline to me. Though I still doubted how effective they would be, they were my only hope. Even amidst such a serious discussion, we found moments to laugh, joking about Rajesh, our childhood memories, and how we used to tease him until he got angry. The heavy atmosphere lightened, becoming warm and lively.
Once the wedding date was fixed, time seemed to race. We packed everything we could, yet it always felt like something was missing. We traveled to our hometown and stayed at my grandparents’ place. The rest unfolded exactly as planned. It wasn’t a grand wedding, but a decent one, attended mostly by close relatives from both sides. Most people didn’t know about Rahul, and his name never came up, which was a huge relief for me.
The entire wedding felt like a pre-written script. I simply followed instructions, with no real involvement of my heart. The happiness belonged to Dad, Mom, Vani, and Satya uncle. Sandhya, who knew about Rahul, felt just as strongly as I did that he was the right person for me. She too struggled to accept Rajesh as my husband, but like me, she remained silent. Anyone who attended the wedding could sense that it was a marriage born out of compromise.
The words first night sounded like pure horror to me. I was anxious for many reasons, especially because first nights in small towns are often uncomfortable, filled with curiosity and teasing. I knew this culture well from past experiences. I shared my fear with Sandhya, who understood immediately. She passed the concern on to Revathi aunty and others. Finally, I received the most comforting news—the first night would take place in Hyderabad, at our home. After three days, Rajesh would leave for Chennai.
After a small gathering at Rajesh’s place, we returned to Hyderabad along with him. Even after four days, we hadn’t spoken properly, as relatives were always around. The first night was scheduled five days after the wedding, so we slept in separate rooms. Even during the journey, Rajesh remained quiet, responding only when Dad asked him something. I, too, felt it wasn’t the right time to begin a conversation.
* * *
11.8 A Gentle Beginning Without Touch
A white saree, jasmine flowers, and a glass of milk—nothing more needed to explain what the night was meant to be: my first night with Rajesh. He sat on the flower-decorated cot, sweets neatly arranged on the table, the room filled with the soft fragrance of agarbatti. He flipped through an old magazine, not really reading—just pretending, perhaps as tense as I was. I placed the milk on the side table and sat beside him, waiting for him to speak first.
The room fell into complete silence, broken only by the ticking of an old clock. Suddenly, Sandhya knocked at the door, clearly trying to disturb us. Rajesh, innocent and nervous, stood up to open it. I couldn’t stop myself from laughing and asked him to sit—it was clearly Sandhya teasing us. I was the first to speak, probably the reason Sandhya knocked at all; otherwise, we might have spent the entire night without exchanging a single word. He took it sportively and laughed with me. It was the first time I laughed so freely since the marriage process began—and the first time I saw Rajesh laugh like that too. It felt like a good sign.
Silence returned, and this time Rajesh broke it. After a pause, he spoke carefully, almost as if reciting something he had rehearsed. He said that marriage was not just about physical closeness, but about two souls understanding each other. Since we hardly knew one another, he felt it was better to first build that understanding before anything else—to let intimacy come with comfort and love, not as a forced ritual.
His words felt like a blessing. I felt immense relief and silently thanked my parents for choosing such a considerate man. I didn’t want to stretch the moment; when he waited for my response, I simply said, “Okay.”
We slept on opposite ends of the bed, a clear distance between us. Before switching off the light, he said quietly that for the world, the first night had happened like any other—but what passed between us would remain just ours. I understood and nodded, though the darkness likely hid my response. Soon after, Sandhya began knocking again, and I smiled to myself, imagining her assumptions while nothing was really happening inside.
Sleep didn’t come easily. Memories of my life replayed endlessly, and Rajesh’s snoring didn’t help either. I don’t remember when I finally drifted off. A knock at the door woke me—Rajesh still asleep at the same distance. Remembering his words, I adjusted myself quickly; my eyes were already red from lack of sleep.
Facing parents after the first night felt awkward, even though nothing had happened. When I opened the door, no one was around. Coffee waited on the dining table. I brought it in and woke Rajesh.
The next three nights were no different. During the day, Rajesh mostly watched television or read the newspaper. Mom suggested we go out for a movie, but he showed little interest, so I didn’t insist. Our conversations were limited to routine exchanges. After three days, it was time for him to leave. He informed Dad that once he settled into the family portion in Chennai, he would come back to take me with him.
Surprisingly, his departure stirred nothing in me. I usually became emotional when people left after staying a few days, but with Rajesh, there was no such feeling. Even though he was my husband, I still felt no emotional or physical connection—only the awareness of a bond that existed in name, not yet in my heart.
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11.9 Waiting in Silence for a New Beginning
More than three months passed, yet there was no word from Rajesh. Not a single call, not even a message. Dad would call him regularly, and every time Rajesh had an excuse ready—work pressure, room adjustments, office commitments. Dad, trusting by nature, accepted each explanation without much doubt. But what hurt me most was not the delay; it was the silence. In all these months, Rajesh never once called me. That quiet gap spoke louder than any excuse.
Satya Uncle, however, remained in touch with me. He sensed the growing unease and, after listening to Rajesh’s repeated reasons, spoke frankly to Dad. He said that if Dad waited for Rajesh to come and take me, it might never happen. Rajesh, he explained, was not irresponsible but inherently lazy when it came to taking initiative in personal matters. Satya Uncle suggested that Dad fix a date and take me to Chennai himself. He even added that he would be more than willing to come and take me if needed.
Despite his offer, I felt more comfortable going with Dad. It would be my first journey into a new home, a new city, and a new phase of life. Having Dad by my side felt like a shield—something familiar and reassuring before stepping into the unknown.
This was supposed to be the beginning of my new life with Rajesh. Yet, instead of excitement, it began with waiting… silence… and a quiet question in my heart about what awaited me ahead.
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